GO OPAL
by PixiePeahenPOW
Summary: The REAL go o. About Opal and her imaginary friend, Randomness, who doesn't even exist in Opal's mind and actually isn't even a friend, so there and boo ya. My first fic! Its random! Enjoy!
1. GO O ch 1

Chapter 1- Particles of Opal

**HARRRRRR! Welcome to the PixiePeacockPOW crew. Warning: this story is RANDOM with a capital N. This is my first fic. Its about Opal's first meeting with Merv and Scant. So put on yer eye patches and be...randomified?**

T'was s sunny day. Merv needed a new cylinder for scuba diving so he could BREATHE. So Scant came too. Which was embarrassing, because Scant was dressed headto toe in pink.

Merv looked in the window in the bakery and saw a cake with pink icing and purple roses on it. The cakes looked like the one he got for his birthday last year.

They went into the dive shop. Merv studied a red pixie-sized cylinder and Scant checked which cylinders stored the best quality air.

As Merv opened one, tiny particles vaporized out of the cylinder. The pixie brothers stared, minutes later, the particles were in the same place, above the fish tank. The pixies got bored.

"Hey, Merv? Why do we need cylinders?," asked Scant.

"To breathe in the water. Remember the last time you wen diving without a cylinder? You DIED", said Merv.

"Oh ya".

Scant hadn't actually died. He got rescued by a helicopter before he had time to drown. But Scant thought he was dead .Merv was fine with that.

"That means you can walk through walls, right?," Merv grinned.

"Yup. I'll show you," said Scant, and ran into the wall and knocked himself out.

Merv turned around and gasped. The particles melted into each other to form an irritated Opal Koboi in a minion patterned onesie.

Why did Opal materialize out of a dive cylinder? And why was she in a _onesie?_

Answer: Nord caught her last week and stuffed her in a cylinder.

Scant woke up.

"Who's that?," said Scant.

"Uhhhhh, Scalpel Noboy or something," answered Merv inaccurately.

"ITS OPAL KOBOI, YOU MINI NEON REFLECTIVE CHIMNEY!," Scalpel Noboy / Opal Koboi screamed." And you're Merv, and you're Scant."

_That's creepy, _thought Scant.

"Why are we here, then?," Merv tested Opal.

"To get cylinders. You were checking them to see what one had highest quality air," said Opal, as if she'd actually seen it happening.

"Why did Scant get knocked out?"

"Because he ran in to the wall because he thought he was a ghost."

"Why do I need a cylinder?"

"So you can BREATHE."

"What did my birthday cake look like last year?"

"Vanilla Sponge cake with pink icing and purple roses."

Merv and scant were getting creeped out. Opal knew EVERYTHING!

"One more question," said Scant. "What's my fave colour?"

Opal pretended to think."Hhhmmmmmmm...pink."

The Brill brothers both ran around, screaming like maniacs.

"I made a decision. You guys better serve me, or I'll stuff _you _in a cylinder for a CENTURY!," yelled Opal.

Merv and Scant looked at each other.

"OK".

"Good. I need stylists for me for the Great British Beard Off. I'm entering."

Merv and Scant looked excited. Everyone knew about the Beard Off. (It takes place in a giant tent gazebo thing). To enter the tent would be an honour!

"We'll help you!" said the brothers.

"Then lets go."

And they flew out of the dive shop on Koboi Wings that just appeared on their backs.

**WHOOO! Sorry if Merv is sometimes Marv (Autocorrect) and also, the computer won't save the spaces between paragraphs.**

**Review, and more about the Beard Off competition in next chapter!**


	2. GO OPAL Chapter 2

Chapter 1- Particles of Opal

**HARRRRRR! Welcome to the PixiePeacockPOW crew. Warning: this story is RANDOM with a capital N. This is my first fic. Its about Opal's first meeting with Merv and Scant. So put on yer eye patches and be...randomified?**

T'was s sunny day. Merv needed a new cylinder for scuba diving so he could BREATHE. So Scant came too. Which was embarrassing, because Scant was dressed headto toe in pink.

Merv looked in the window in the bakery and saw a cake with pink icing and purple roses on it. The cakes looked like the one he got for his birthday last year.

They went into the dive shop. Merv studied a red pixie-sized cylinder and Scant checked which cylinders stored the best quality air.

As Merv opened one, tiny particles vaporized out of the cylinder. The pixie brothers stared, minutes later, the particles were in the same place, above the fish tank. The pixies got bored.

"Hey, Merv? Why do we need cylinders?," asked Scant.

"To breathe in the water. Remember the last time you wen diving without a cylinder? You DIED", said Merv.

"Oh ya".

Scant hadn't actually died. He got rescued by a helicopter before he had time to drown. But Scant thought he was dead .Merv was fine with that.

"That means you can walk through walls, right?," Merv grinned.

"Yup. I'll show you," said Scant, and ran into the wall and knocked himself out.

Merv turned around and gasped. The particles melted into each other to form an irritated Opal Koboi in a minion patterned onesie.

Why did Opal materialize out of a dive cylinder? And why was she in a _onesie?_

Answer: Nord caught her last week and stuffed her in a cylinder.

Scant woke up.

"Who's that?," said Scant.

"Uhhhhh, Scalpel Noboy or something," answered Merv inaccurately.

"ITS OPAL KOBOI, YOU MINI NEON REFLECTIVE CHIMNEY!," Scalpel Noboy / Opal Koboi screamed." And you're Merv, and you're Scant."

_That's creepy, _thought Scant.

"Why are we here, then?," Merv tested Opal.

"To get cylinders. You were checking them to see what one had highest quality air," said Opal, as if she'd actually seen it happening.

"Why did Scant get knocked out?"

"Because he ran in to the wall because he thought he was a ghost."

"Why do I need a cylinder?"

"So you can BREATHE."

"What did my birthday cake look like last year?"

"Vanilla Sponge cake with pink icing and purple roses."

Merv and scant were getting creeped out. Opal knew EVERYTHING!

"One more question," said Scant. "What's my fave colour?"

Opal pretended to think."Hhhmmmmmmm...pink."

The Brill brothers both ran around, screaming like maniacs.

"I made a decision. You guys better serve me, or I'll stuff _you _in a cylinder for a CENTURY!," yelled Opal.

Merv and Scant looked at each other.

"OK".

"Good. I need stylists for me for the Great British Beard Off. I'm entering."

Merv and Scant looked excited. Everyone knew about the Beard Off. (It takes place in a giant tent gazebo thing). To enter the tent would be an honour!

"We'll help you!" said the brothers.

"Then lets go."

And they flew out of the dive shop on Koboi Wings that just appeared on their backs.

**WHOOO! Sorry if Merv is sometimes Marv (Autocorrect) and also, the computer won't save the spaces between paragraphs.**

**Review, and more about the Beard Off competition in next chapter!**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 2- The Great British Beard Off

**Sup. AAAAAH, there's two chapter ones! soz yikes. Yup, its chapter two! This chapter is set a couple of months after chapter 1.I'm PixiePea_hen_POW who is still PixiePeacockPOW. Annnnnnnnnnnddddddddd... uuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhh,,,,, nothing else. I don't own Artemis fowl or the characters.**

Opal read through the list of people, elves, dwarfs,pixies etc. who were also in the Beard Off (The Beard Off is judged by Paul Hollywood), and she had to beat them and WIN!

G.B.B.O.- JUDGE:PAUL HOLLYWOOD (who can do everything, by the way)

**COMPETITORS:**

_Opal K. _(at the top of the list, of course)

_Mulch D._

_Artemis F. the second_

_Madam Ko_

_Domovoi B._

_Holly S._

_Trouble K._

_Julius R._

_Juliet B._

_Nord_

Opal decided that Mulch might come second ( after herself). But not even MULCH could beat her in the beard off.

The Beard Off was on tomorrow! Opal went to sleep on her Koboi Hoverbed. She was totally gonna win, fo shizzle. Nightio.

Opal woke up and went downstairs. She was staying in a 5 star hotel near the Beard Off tent with Merv and Scant in the room next door. Opal had Cheerios with no milk for her breakfast, then went to find the twins.

Merv was in his room, on his iPhone.

"MERV! WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU STUPID WOODEN RAINBOW UNSPARKLY NOTEBOOK! AND WHY AREN'T YOU ON YOU KOBOI PHONE THAT I GAVE YOU!."

Merv looked up from his phone."Um, I'm playing Minecraft. It's awesome."

"Not as awesome as _me_, of course," said Opal.

"No 'course not," replied Merv, but he was thinking, _it's way__ awesomer than you._ He knew better than to say that. Actually, he didn't, but he had no time to say it because Opal started screaming at Scant to close the window (which was not even open in the first place).

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><p>(Sorry i just love these horizontal lines!)<p>

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><p>Ok,,,,,,,,,,,,,,<p>

Opal had called a taxi to take her to the tent. With her beard ready, she said bye to Merv and Scant and went into the car.

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><p>The taxi stopped at the tent gazebo thingy. Opal was ready for the Beard Off. Stroking her beard, she visualized the scene when she, Opal Koboi , will be the Beard Queen. Oh yeah. She put on her shades and her cap on backwards. Opal was READY for the competition. Oh yeah.<p>

She entered the tent and immediately knew who'll win. Herself. Duh.

Everyone else was already there. They knew who'll win too. Themselves. Duh. And if she didn't win, she'd explode the tent (and Paul) or something like that.

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><p>What do everyone's beards look like? I don't even know yet. I haven't written it .<p>

"LIST OF PEOPLE (with or without a caps lock "p") AND THEIR BEARDS, IN NO CERTAIN ORDER," Paul Hollywood The Judge bellowed. To show how important he was.

"ARTEMIS: PINK BRAIDED BEARD. GOOD."

Opal looked over at Artemis who was grinning and probably thinking _"I'm totes gonna win" _but he'd never say that because totes and gonna aren't words. Opal rolled her eyes.

''MULCH: _WHAT_! YOU JUST HAVE YOUR NORMAL BEARD!,'' said Paul, outraged, as if he couldn't believe that someone would turn up to HIS competition with an average, everyday beard! That's to ridiculous to imagine.

''But, you see, my beard has unusual-" Mulch started to say.

"NO. I DON'T SEE. I DON'T CARE. YOUR BEARD IS TO NORMAL!YOU ARE DISQUALIFIED!"

So Mulch just digged away.

" RIGHT. EIGHT LEFT. DOMO- I MEAN BUTLER: KNEE LENGTH AND . DOESN'T SUIT YOU.

TRUB-''

''_Trouble,_actually,'' corrected Trub- I mean _Trouble._

''WHO CARES. TRUB: PURPLE FISHTAIL IN A SPIRAL. NICE WORK.

HOLLY: AUBURN CURLED AND TRAILING ON THE FLOOR. TOO LONG.

JULIET: BLONDE, SHOULDER LENGTH WITH NEON BLUE HIGHLIGHTS. QUITE GREAT, BUT CHEESY.''

''Cheesy?'' Jutiet said.

"YES, CHEESY. JULIUS: WHITE AND GREY , SPIKY AND STICKING OUT ALL OVER THE PLACE. MESSY, BUT GOOD ON YOU.

NORD-''

''NORD?'' Opal screeched. Nord. he had stuffed her in a diver's tank for no reason at all. And he thinks he can compete against her? Opal did not even bother saying anything to him and just stuffed dynamite in his beard and threw him angrily into a nearby volcano.

'' TWO LEFT,'' began Paul.'' OPAL : RAINBOW AWESOME BEARD WITH A BUILT- IN RADIATOR AND ICE CREAM MAKER.''

Opal had expected Paul to be awesome-ified, but he moved on to Madame Ko, who everyone thought had the boringest beard. ''MADAME KO: PAUL STYLE BEARD.''

Paul took a couple of minutes to decide on a winner and the eight dwarf-less remaining competitors stood silently.

''THE WINNER IS...'' and after another couple of minutes of drum rolls, announced the Great British Beard Off King/Queen.

''MADAME KO!"

Everyone just checked their ears, to see is they heard properly. Madame Ko just had a plain grey beard... like Paul. Aha ! ao thats why he chose her! When opal figured this out, she started shouting at the author for not giving her name a capital O. Oops, sorry Opal...

Then Opal just walked off and wondered why she even entered the Beard Off. Maybe she had Atlantis Complex or something.

**I only have one review, so pleeeeeeaaaaaasssssseeeeeee review!**


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